1) Pick out the translation (or translations) you like, first. There are several good guides to all the translations in print, and many good books on why the Bible has been translated so many times and what the differences are.

2) Read the "Preface" or "Translator's Note": it ought to tell you who commissioned this translation, when, who did the actual translating, how they went about work, who they were trying to reach, and perhaps something about which ancient manuscripts they worked from. Does this Bible transaction come from one religious group or a slice of the theological spectrum or are the translators from a mix of backgrounds? What are their qualifications as translators? (Google can help you see what the branches of various religions have to say about themselves and it will also show where the translator has worked and what those places have to say for themselves. A library will have information in more depth (and less polemic), and it will also let you read what the translators have written about Biblical Studies - if you wish to go into that much detail.)

3) You may like to have several different translation on hand, however, as translation is an inexact art. There are also parallel bibles that have several transitions in columns.

4) Bible publishers have gotten very savvy about packaging: I suspect they want to catch your eye and have you buy something quickly. However, this is a book you'll be reading (I hope) so set aside the packaging for a moment and look at the features - is the type comfortable and clear? (I have books I hate to read (no matter how much I love their contents) because the type is subtly ugly or boring-looking.) Is the page too crowded? Can you read the notes and sidebars comfortably? Is there room to write in the book or to somehow mark passages without covering up the text or warping the pages? (Some people will never mark up a Bible, some people love to underline, highlight, or write notes and reflections in them - pick a Bible that suits what you prefer.) Is the paper too shiny or flimsy - does it look like it will bleed ink or get furrows from pencil marks? Do the illustrations and helps add to the text for you or is it really more than you'll need? (You can always buy another Bible if you become fascinated by a particular illustrator or a particular kind of supplement to the text. Can you hold the book in one hand and handle it comfortably? (This sounds silly, but I spend most of my time handling books the size of a healthy urban phone book: some publishers are happy producing paper cinder blocks, some put a bit more care into it.)

If this Bible is something you like, as a book, then consider color, the design of the cover/case, and whatever else the edition is glitzed up with.

5) A Bible is a Bible is a Bible - Jewish ones contain everything that's in the Christian Old Testament; Catholic and Eastern Orthodox ones are somewhat longer, Protestant ones are somewhat shorter (buy a copy of the Apocrypha from Oxford University Press if you wonder what the difference is.) No translator sets out to produce a bad version of the Bible - all translations have their strengths and weaknesses (a Bible cannot be both extremely colloquial and readable and accurate to the original language - Greek and Hebrew are very different from English, and the closer one gets to them the further one gets from smooth English (and vice-versa.)) All translators and translation-commissioners have their aims, their intended audience, and their executive decisions about how to do their work - but everyone wants to end up with a readable, accurate translation of the Bible, and every published translation on the market from every major publisher I can think of is somewhere in that ballpark. No Bible will hopelessly mislead you, and you can always consult another translation. (I'm a great fan of consulting several - and the original language, when possible.)

6) Don't be afraid to walk out of the store and look elsewhere: yard sales, second hand book stores, friend's houses, and libraries. You may like an out-of-print or not-typically-stocked Bible better. The one virtue of shopping for a Bible is that it's not like Islandia: the Bible is an extraordinarily common, frequently published book. Odds are you will find a copy if you look for one (or a collection of copies, in my case...); pick out one you're happy reading and handling, one that suits your needs, and enjoy reading it.

(I recommend reading all of it, begats and all, but don't try to read it all at once - it's far too long. The wonderful thing about reading the entire Bible is you'll invariably encounter things you'll swear you never heard about in worship services (and perhaps you haven't; I've yet to hear a sermon on the Ethiopian Eunuch or on the Letter to the Hebrews.) There are still things in the Bible that surprise me or stop me cold - just as there are in other books that I read in their entirety year after year. Part of that's my memory - but part of that is the nature of the book.)

-Kushana